[HOME]
[SHOW]
[SKETCHES]
[BIOS]
[YOU DIG?]
BREAKING GLOBAL NEWS
New Year's Eve Celebrating Ends; Chicagoans Prepare For Annual Hibernation
Jan. 2 Marks Start of Three-Month-Long Social Hiatus, Nesting Period
Jan. 2, 2010

CHICAGO -- The streets of Chicago were quiet on Saturday, empty except for a few vodka bottles and paper streamers left over from Thursday's New Year's Eve celebration.

The residents, of course, were inside: Hiding from freezing single-digit temperatures, icy walkways -- and the month of January itself.

"This happens every year," said Jane Rabikowski, head of Chicago's Streets, Sanitation and Seasonal Hibernation department. "People tear it up on New Year's, and then don't make plans with their friends or family for the next 8-10 weeks."

Local businesses were preparing for the withdrawl on Friday. "I've fired half my staff," said Greg Morgan, manager of the Michigan Avenue-based Hennigan's pub. "We may have 5, 6 customers in the next month. Why would I need a waitstaff?"

Many Chicagoans say winter hibernation is just part of living in the city.

"My friends understand," says Sara Taylor, 28. "I'll e-mail them in March about going to a movie or something. But until then, no, it's too freaking cold to go out, and I ate enough candy over the holiday season to ward off hunger until the first thaw." Taylor then excused herself to go layer her clothing.

More news stories
Previous news:
  • Woman Finds List of New Year's Resolutions; Becomes Instantly Depressed
  • New Jersey Woman Dislikes Bon Jovi
  • Increase Your Text Drive
  • Local Man Fills Monthly Hipster Quotient With One Trip To The Apple Store
  • Friends Help Girl Avoid Late-Night Drunk Dialing
  • Man Finds Money In Pants, Buys Things With It
  • New "Merchant/Ivory" Movie Features Women, Period Costumes
  • Ill-Fated 9/11 Crack Falls Flat
  • Thirtysomething Woman Braces for Comments From Mother About Her Social Life
  • Sales Slow for "Time Out: Naperville"
  • Spring Brings Much-Needed Urine to Wrigleyville's Alleys
  • Man At Party Is "That Guy"
  • Cat Fascinated By Cat Toy-Like Toy
  • Local Woman's Breast Brushed by Man's Elbow
  • Cable News Pundit Beaten For Excessive Use Of Phrase "In This Economy"
  • Porn Quite Popular With Men These Days

  • -->